


bunny ears doubled my heartbeat

by throwaway18



Category: Red Velvet (K-pop Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Childhood Friends, F/F, First Love, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-18
Updated: 2020-07-18
Packaged: 2021-03-04 18:40:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,474
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25361071
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/throwaway18/pseuds/throwaway18
Summary: how many first loves do we get in a lifetime?just one.and for joohyun, her first love will always be seungwan.(childhood friends-au)
Relationships: Bae Joohyun | Irene/Son Seungwan | Wendy
Comments: 8
Kudos: 61





	bunny ears doubled my heartbeat

**Author's Note:**

> originally published on AFF last july 16 for a late wenrene day one-shot

Love doesn’t let you know it’s coming.

And seven year-old Joohyun certainly did not anticipate to find it at a grocery store.

“Fany? Tiffany!”

“Oh my God, Taeyeon! Hi!”

“It’s been ages!”

“Oh, how I’ve missed you.”

Joohyun watches her mother envelope this Tiffany woman into a bone-crushing hug, the two adults squealing like excited school girls at a carnival. She thought women in their thirties would be behaving differently, her mother usually poised around other adults, but Joohyun learns that there are particular behaviors that simply do not grow out of age.

She silently stands by their shopping cart, her small frame obscured by her mother’s towering body. She could barely register the fragments of their animated conversation, obviously uninterested with the contents of their chatter. Her mom has promised to buy her Peppero today, and it’s the sole thing she has been craving for the entirety of running their errand.

_“Mooom!”_ A little girl in a white hoodie runs into the aisle, whining to the woman Joohyun’s mother is talking to. She’s a few inches shorter than Joohyun, maybe younger than her too. “I can’t reach the jellies!” She juts her lower lip into a frown.

“Fany, don’t tell me this is Wannie?” Joohyun hears her mom coo at the little girl.

The little girl looks up, her frown dissolving. Her lips then stretch themselves into a toothy grin that displays her pearly whites with a tooth missing on the bottom row. She bows politely. “Hello, nice to meet you. I’m Seungwan and I’m five.”

_She’s two years younger than me_ , Joohyun thinks, and she distractedly twiddles with the sleeve of her shirt.

“What a cutie!” Joohyun’s mother lightly pinches at the little girl’s plump cheek. “I’m your Auntie Taeyeon, your mommy’s friend from high school.”

“Seungwan’s definitely grown, but she still my baby.” Seungwan’s mother bends down to kiss the crown of her head.

Seungwan probably dislikes the endearment, harrumphing at the statement. Joohyun can sympathize with her annoyance. She wouldn’t have liked being called a baby either. Luckily, the title of the family’s doted baby has been handed down to Joohyun’s three year-old sister, Sooyoung.

“I’m not a baby anymore.” Seungwan huffs.

“Of course, you aren’t.” The woman’s eyes land behind Joohyun’s mother, and Joohyun shrinks further to conceal herself, gripping the hem of her mother’s sundress tighter in her clenched fists. “And is that Joohyun I see?”

Joohyun doesn’t fare well with strangers. She becomes overwhelmed with befriending new people, and more often than not, she would retreat to the comfort of her shell. It would take several meetings for her to be at ease with a person so she buries her face on her mother’s back.

“Come and say hi to your Auntie Tiffany and Seungwan.” Her mother gently coaxes her from her hiding spot, pulling her to the front. Joohyun relents because she doesn’t have it in her to be disrespectful despite her increasing shyness. The woman and her daughter eye her somewhat expectantly, gauging for some sort of a response.

Joohyun gazes at them warily.

She doesn’t say anything.

“Aww, aren’t you a pretty little lady.” Auntie Tiffany has a friendly voice that partially soothes the tension on Joohyun’s tense posture. It helps that the woman isn’t forceful, understanding of her silence and hesitance. She glances at her mother. “The last time I saw her, I was still pregnant with Johnny.”

Seungwan tugs on her mother’s arm, head cocked to the side. “Mommy, is this unnie mute?”

“Wannie! That’s not very nice.” Aunt Tiffany’s eyes enlarge themselves into saucers, while Joohyun remains unfazed. Kids have always said how quiet she can be. But Aunt Tiffany is utterly aghast by her daughter’s comment, extending her apology to Joohyun’s mother. “I’m sorry about that. This child seriously lacks some filter.”

Seungwan stares at Joohyun in curiosity, burning holes into her skull, lips quirked at one corner as if she’s thinking deeply. About what she could be thinking of? Joohyun doesn’t know.

Her mother kindly shakes her head at Seungwan, and Joohyun feels her fingers threading through her hair, combing her nerves away. “Joohyun is a little shy. She’ll warm up soon.” Seungwan nods at that, and their mothers continue to catch up with one another, the women wheeling their carts out of the condiments aisle as the two children follow their lead. “Are you headed somewhere after? We should have lunch at the restaurant you’d gorge yourself in!”

“I haven’t been there since college!”

The adults go do their adult thing, reminiscing about their youthful years, bespeaking of their past shenanigans with childlike enthusiasm. Joohyun still has the Peppero at the back of her mind. She hopes her mother wouldn’t be so holed up in their chitchat that she forgets her promise to her.

A sudden poke on the shoulder makes Joohyun jump.

“Hey.”

She turns around to Seungwan who has her index finger pointing downwards to the ground. “Your shoelaces.”

Peering at her shoes, Joohyun scowls at the knots of her laces being undone. Both of their mothers have moved forward to the next aisle. There are a number of people shopping at the store, and she doesn’t want to attract any unwanted attention by screaming for her mom. She will just have to soldier on with a shoe having untied laces.

But Seungwan is crouched on the floor, her head shooting up to face Joohyun when the older girl attempts to lift a leg to walk.

“Don’t move.” Seungwan tells her. She has her laces in between her fingertips, looping one end over the other, then draws them together in a tight knot. She makes two little teardrop-shaped hoops from each end of the laces. “Bunny ears _aaand_ there!” She hops onto her feet and beams at Joohyun.

Her shoelaces are now nicely tied.

“You can tie shoelaces?”

“Wow you talk!”

“I can talk.”

“You should talk more.” To Joohyun’s surprise, Seungwan grabs her hand, and the older girl is ushered to resume walking to their mothers. Joohyun is caught off guard by the warmth of their linked hands, never before shown by this kind of friendliness on the get-go. “How old are you?”

“Seven.”

“You don’t know how to tie your shoelaces?”

“No…” The insecurity oozes from Joohyun’s timid voice. She hasn’t grappled with the technique yet, fumbling around the intersections she makes until they’re a mess of weaves and she becomes tired from trying. She had seen kids at school making fun of someone who didn’t know how. Witnessing the teasing catapults her to expect for Seungwan to do likewise.

But once again, to her surprise, Seungwan doesn’t mock her inability. Instead she squeezes Joohyun’s hand in hers in a wordless reassurance.

“I’ll teach you.”

The younger girl then drags Joohyun closer to their mothers, their sneakers squeaking against the tiled flooring of the grocery store, halting their steps when they fully approach the adults. A pitter-patter of beats ring within Joohyun’s eardrums.

“Auntie Tae! Auntie Tae!”

Joohyun’s mother takes a gander at the girls, her eyebrows raising at their joined hands. She must be equally surprised at how quick Seungwan has gotten Joohyun to be in the handholding phase of their premature friendship. Joohyun can’t seem to complain about it, strangely enjoying the presence of a newfound friend. The _ba-dump_ in her chest could be indicating her early fondness for the younger girl.

“I’m gonna teach Joohyun-unnie how to tie her shoelaces!”

“Why thank you, Seungwan. Hope you don’t mind being patient with Joohyun.”

“I’ll wait forever and ever if I have to!”

Joohyun’s cheeks mysteriously reddens as she glances at Seungwan incredulously.

“Gosh, where did you even get that, you greasy child?” Auntie Tiffany laughs at the declaration, ruffling her daughter’s hair.

After fifteen tries, encouraging smiles and a barrage of giggles in the restaurant playpen, Joohyun proudly demonstrates to the adults her newly acquired skill, receiving a round of applause from her audience. She embraces the younger girl in gratitude, and she learns that bunny ears weren’t the only thing Seungwan taught her that day.

Seungwan has also taught her that her heart is capable of creating this peculiar speedy rhythm that makes her feet all tingly on the inside. Whatever _it_ is, Joohyun isn’t bothered by it.

Not one bit.

Seungwan actually lives across the globe, in a famous city somewhere in California. Her family are vacationing in Seoul for the summer, Auntie Tiffany mentioning how they’re planning for it to be a yearly trip for them so the kids can immerse themselves in the culture firsthand. Joohyun would have loved to visit Seungwan’s hometown, but the tickets don’t come cheap, her daddy has told her.

Since they’ll only be staying for a span of two months, Joohyun has made sure to spend every single day she has playing with Seungwan, going to the neighborhood playground during the afternoon.

“Run faster, Joohyun-unnie!”

“Wannie, wait, my shoes!” Joohyun balances herself on her right leg. She has nearly trampled over upon stepping on her untied shoelaces. Kneeling next to the seesaw, Joohyun does them without Seungwan’s usual coaching of the process, tongue trapped between her teeth in concentration.

“Bunny ears _aaand_ there!” Joohyun dusts of her dirtied jeans and pumps a victorious fist in the air as Seungwan appears beside her. “I did it, Wan!”

“Yay, Hyunnie!” Seungwan wraps her arms around Joohyun’s neck in what the older girl assumed would be a hug, but she startles Joohyun with a resounding kiss on the cheek.

Joohyun is bolted to the base of the sandbox they are on, limbs unmoving and her mouth ajar.

She can’t speak.

Auntie Tiffany abandons her pocket book on the bench and jogs to the both of them, while Joohyun’s mom is situated by the jungle gym, keeping an eye out for Sooyoung and Seungwan’s younger brother, Johnny. The woman’s touch on Joohyun’s forearm disrupts the spellbinding trance the young brunette has been subjected to, gradually blinking from her daze. “Uh-oh. Wan, Joohyun here might not have wanted a kiss.”

Confusion is etched on Seungwan’s furrowed brows, her hand instinctively slipping into Joohyun’s. “But I was just giving her a prize like you do mommy when I do something good.”

“Yes, baby, but I ask you before giving you a kiss, don’t I? Asking for permission is important. Next time, ask her first, okay?”

“Okay, mommy.”

“Alright, off you go.” Auntie Tiffany pats her daughter’s butt and returns to the bench.

It’s odd how their surroundings have become visually better in Joohyun’s perspective. The grass is greener, the sky is bluer, and everything else just glows vividly like she has been handed with an awesome pair of 3D glasses from the cinema. Joohyun doesn’t realize that their clasped hands have transformed into intertwined fingers, noticing it when Seungwan gasps sharply.

“I’m holding your hand! Is this okay, unnie?” Seungwan asks, expression painted with concern.

They have done this plenty of times in the weeks they have been together. Joohyun can’t perceive the fuss on their handholding, but she likes the consideration being placed on her feelings. She isn’t used to the politeness and gentleness Seungwan has been exhibiting, the kids at her school mostly a mixture of rough and tumble.

“It’s okay.” She assures her. “You’re a good friend, Wan.”

Seungwan’s pretty brown eyes glimmer beneath the afternoon sun. “May I give you a kiss?”

“What for?”

“For being nice to me.”

As she permits the younger girl to press a second peck on her cheek, Joohyun feels as though she has won something big, something in the likes of the biggest stuffed animal paraded at the town fair.

Her stomach reacts weirdly too, like someone has released a swarm of fluttering beings in her belly, and they’re given the free rein to roam around. Joohyun could not verbalize the sensation overtaking her body.

“Butterflies,” her friend, Seulgi, would tell her later on in middle school. “What you felt in your tummy were butterflies, unnie.”

Seungwan is nine. “Can we go see your baby sister after?” She has gotten taller, her features more pronounced, but the squishy baby fat on her cheeks are still prominent. They’re a bunch of inedible dumplings according to Sooyoung.

Joohyun is eleven. “Just don’t forget to wash your hands before you play with Yeri.” She thinks her growth spurt are delaying their intended work on her height since her seven year-old sister is on the verge of surpassing her. Seungwan says it wouldn’t matter anyway because it’s Joohyun’s personality everyone would be counting on.

Seungwan’s family has been visiting Seoul for four consecutive years as of present, and in every vacation they have, Joohyun would automatically be Seungwan’s constant company for two months. The notion of having an international childhood friend, a tidbit she brags about to her friends, is cool to Joohyun, who would always have her arms open for Seungwan as her family fetches them at the airport.

“Having sisters must be fun.” They’re lounging at the topmost level of the jungle gym, leaning against the railing. The rest of the courses at the playground have become boring to them, the monkey bars hardly any challenge for them to complete. Nowadays, the two girls would prefer to sit and talk, overlooking their siblings from the highest point of the playground. Seungwan mutters, “Johnny is only annoying.”

“Not all sisters.” Joohyun blows strands of her hair from her nose. As if on cue, she feels a sudden flick on her ears and a flash of green overalls whizzes by them.

“Unnie big ears!” Sooyoung cackles maniacally and slides down the tube, descending to the lower level of the jungle gym. Her light-up sneakers flicker in green and yellow, footprints marked on the trail of sand, as she zooms to an aging oak tree.

“Sooyoung!” Joohyun and Seungwan are the older kids now, which gives them the responsibility to be in charge of the younger ones. Johnny isn’t too much trouble to watch over, quietly forming sandcastles by himself in the sandbox. It’s Joohyun’s own flesh and blood who keeps her on the edge.

“Sooyoung, don’t climb that tree!”

“You’re not the boss of me, bunny ears!”

Joohyun groans and rolls her eyes. “Whatever.”

“You do have bunny ears!” Seungwan is gasping at the comparison, prodding at her earlobes.

Her ears are distinctly bigger than the norm, poking out of her hair most of the time. She’s admittedly self-conscious about their size, having been compared to a Disney character’s flying ears. She doesn’t have anything against Dumbo, but she isn’t in favor of her ears resembling an elephant’s.

“I hate them.” She grumbles petulantly, prying Seungwan’s fingers from invading her ears.

“Oh, unnie, your ribbon’s untied.” Seungwan stills her taunting to tilt her head at the pink headband Joohyun is wearing, and she steps into her radius without warning. The absence of space shifts the gears in Joohyun’s heartbeat. She sustains an unaffected stance before her childhood friend, the beating thankfully receding into regular patterns when Seungwan gives her a teasing jab. “Lookie, Hyun. Your bow is like your ears!”

“I _really_ hate them.”

“Why? I think they’re cute.”

Joohyun whips her head to Seungwan faster than she could locate a tteokbokki stall. No one has ever mentioned her ears being _cute_. “You do?”

“Yeah. But who cares about what people think? I like you, big ears or not.”

“Is that so…” Joohyun trails off, heat spreading to her temples.

Why is Seungwan saying _“I like you”_ echoing again and again in her subconscious?

Her heartbeat doubles its pace. Joohyun can’t articulate what’s happening to her, internally panicking at her perspiring hands on the railings and this surge of heat coursing to her face.

“Hey, your ears are red.”

She untucks her hair from behind her ears to shield them from Seungwan’s scrutiny. The playground has suddenly gotten hotter than it had been earlier. “No, they aren’t.” Joohyun hurries to deny the accusation.

Seungwan nudges her playfully on the shoulder, and Joohyun would have rode down the tube to flee from this funny feeling, but the younger girl is already interlacing their fingers, trapping Joohyun from escaping the scene.

“Can I kiss you, Hyun?” Kisses aren’t out of the ordinary to Joohyun. Seungwan has always been affectionate, though there is a staggering difference in the manner her request has the older girl short-circuiting and blushing profusely.

“O—okay.” She stutters pathetically.

Joohyun yelps when the kiss lands dangerously close to the corner of her lips, and she is definitely sure her ears are on fire, torched like they’re marshmallows. Her head is reeling, and her thoughts couldn’t focus on anything else but _Seungwan, Seungwan, Seungwan,_ cancelling out the noises of rambunctious children in the distance.

“Oops! Almost stole your first kiss.” Seungwan laughs, unaware of the sleepless night Joohyun will be succumbed into that evening, the ghost of Seungwan’s lips tingling the tips of her toes. The younger girl encases her fingers around Joohyun’s arm, dragging her barely responsive body towards the entrance of the tube, letting Joohyun wonder what their futures hold for them.

And here they are, twenty years after their first encounter, Seungwan dragging Joohyun to a swing set at the same neighborhood playground from their childhood.

“She’s gaining on us. Run faster, Joohyun-unnie!”

“Wan, wait, my shoes!”

Seungwan readies herself to tie her shoelaces, but she finds out that Joohyun has slip-ons on, the older woman’s footwear rolling a couple of feet behind them. Joohyun steadies her weight under one foot, an arm draped around Seungwan’s sturdy shoulders, as a little girl with a blue balloon in her grasp offers the discarded shoe to the shoeless woman.

“Thank you.” Joohyun takes her shoe then wipes the sweat off the three year-old’s forehead with her bare hand. “Watchu got there, little Rosie?”

“Mommy, look, I gots a balloon!” Rosie announces energetically to Seungwan, bouncing in place. It’s been three hours since they got to the playground, but exhaustion hasn’t crept to the girl’s sweat-stained face.

“She is such a mini you.” Joohyun remarks fondly, remembering the energy little Seungwan brought along with her.

“Yeah, well, it makes up for her taking Eric’s personality.” Seungwan lays her hands on her hips, gesturing to the item in Rosie’s hand. “Daddy gave you money for a balloon, huh? Or was it…Auntie Joohyun?” She side-eyes her long-time friend in suspicion.

Rosie refrains herself from giggling but miserably fails. _“Maybeee.”_

Joohyun loves this kid.

“It’s our secret.” She sends a conspiratorial wink at Rosie. “Come now, Rosie. Your balloon’s going to float away if you’re holding it like that. Let’s tie it around your wrist, shall we?”

“Okay!”

Replicating the memorized process she has done a thousand times over the years, her recollections of her childhood resurface, just like any other time whenever she’s lacing up her shoes, wearing a headband adorned with a bow, or tying a simple knot.

Had she known the reasons for her doubled heartbeat, she might have told Seungwan if their paths crossed again after their last encounter of her almost-first kiss. She could have told her sometime in their teens, or maybe sometime when she had gained the emotional maturity, but those feelings would soon drown in the vast oceans separating miles apart, and the younger girl’s name and kisses would merely be memories to her.

Seungwan’s family would then relocate to Canada, unable to revisit Seoul until she’s in her twenties, blonde and short-haired, but she and Joohyun would have experienced different types of love on their reunion.

And Joohyun has long accepted she and Seungwan weren’t meant to be.

But Seungwan was meant to teach her essential life lessons growing up. She taught her to be patient with herself and with others, taught her the importance of consent and consideration, and she taught her to overcome her insecurities and to love herself for who she is, all of which she has carried with her into adulthood.

Regardless of their fates, Seungwan was meant to be in her life.

Joohyun beams at Rosie, the girl a spitting image of her mother, and she finishes the task that has been engraved into her heart.

“Bunny ears _aaand_ there.”

When Joohyun rises from the sandy floor of the playground, Seungwan grins at the practiced gesture in recognition, blanketing their atmosphere in a sheet of nostalgia.

In a split-second, Joohyun is a starry-eyed seven year-old all over again with Seungwan teaching her the wonders of bunny ears, and the wonders of falling without even knowing it.

She wouldn’t have it any other way.

How many first loves do we get in a lifetime?

Just one.

And while the childhood friends may not have ended up together, nothing will ever change the fact that Joohyun’s first love will always be Seungwan.

**Author's Note:**

> come yell at me on twitter @twt_throwaway18


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